How To Appear In A Hipster Photoblog
(I came across this genius and hilarious article again last night, and I had to share it with you. A year later, and nothing's changed...)
written by Bob Castrone of The Post Show
How To Appear In A Hipster Photoblog:
- Don't look directly at the camera, look off to the side as if to indicate that something really cool is happening. But please, don't be excited that something cool is happening.
-- If you MUST look at the camera, be sure to make a pouty/kissy face. And don't try to be ironic, it won't translate.
-- Anybody can kiss a member of the opposite sex, only cool people can pull of same sex kisses. Caution: Ladies, don't look like you're into it, otherwise you might end up on Collegehumor instead... and you don't want that.
-- Show your breasts. And don't forget be angry/disinterested while doing so. Once again, you don't want to come off like a drunken sorority girl who's doing it for attention. They're sluts, you're unique and artsy.
-- Guys, show your breasts. More specifically, show your breast (singular). Try to go with the one-handed shirt lift for maximum effect. Oh, and if you look bored while doing so you'll appear to be making a social statement... or something.
-- Stand next to James Iha.
-- Look terrified, like you've never had your picture taken before. Channel the Amish for inspiration.
-- If you have sunglasses... and you're inside... and it's nighttime... wear them. Totally.
-- When in doubt, grab the nearest breast.
-- If you're the DJ, make it look like you're actually doing something technical. Like pretend to adjust the tempo, or hold your headphones to one side to let people know that you're cueing up your next sick track.
-- Cigarettes : Hipsters :: Wheelchairs : Cripples. Don't leave home without them.
-- If you're black, look angry. In order to pull this off you need to remember two things: 1) Keep a white girl nearby to show that everything is okay, and 2) Make sure you're not wearing something ghetto-y, otherwise you'll look like you walked into Happy Ending on the wrong night.
-- Not sure what you're going to wear? Who needs a shirt when you can always just tape x's over your nipples? It's both practical and affordable.
-- You know that little straw they give you to mix your drinks? Drink out of it. It gives you an excuse to suck in your cheeks.
-- If you're ever 6-12 inches away from a vagina, make sure you stick your tongue out.
-- And finally, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, just click here, here, or here, and I think you'll catch on pretty quickly. Happy raving!
Comments
omg i'm laughing SO HARD! hahahahahaha! love it!
Posted by: diane
You guys are the 11685 best, thanks so much for the help.
Posted by: Caty Tota
My God!!
Posted by: Anonymous
hola ha todos espero q me manden mensajes diarioa ha mi correo gracias chao
Posted by: carlos angel
hehehehehe .. only thing i miss is humour .. how about a wet burqa ??? btw look at old studio 54 photo's .. oh did you get inspiration from them ? oh why didn't you tell us ! hahaha
Posted by: mad'r
this is some good shit. sexy ass girls
Posted by: manuel
it is spelled "especifically", not "specifically" , Nouveau.
Posted by: Ana
XANAX.
It's what's for dinner.
XOXO
Kitty
Posted by: KITTEN LICKENS
so please rock for me, ´cause they do, hell yeah. brrraaakkk
Posted by: Lasse
you guys are morons. OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. did you really n eed someone to write it out?
maybe next month i'll write "JaiDee: the guru of being trashy"
ha.
Posted by: JaiDee
when do you make any similar partyes in italy with your pin-up girls?
In Italy they are not!
Posted by: dj trapen
this shit rocks. ain't it the truth?!
Posted by: mitchell